Iran’s response to Angola’s warning

Dear Angola,

Thank you kindly for your letter of warning.

The nightmares we are having in Iran have nothing to do with Angola. To the contrary, it is the thought of Angola that calms our nerves after each nightmare.

Our nightmares have to do with key injuries to Karimi and Hashemian, and the fact that our federations refuses to say “yes” to one or two of the friendly match offers that come our way every month.

The other nightmare we are having is the prospect of having to rely on 270 minutes from our 37 year old captain who despite all the evidence seems to think he can still run like a young gazelle.

But back to Angola, we wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night thinking that we have to defend Portugal’s speedy and highly technical forwards with a defensive line that at times looks as porous as a colander. Then we remember you, and we think there is still hope and we can get at least three points in this tournament.

A word of advice, do not get all hyped up about these high scoring friendly games. We’ve had plenty of those in the recent past. They are good for show, but when you step on the pitch in Germany, you will get a taste for the real thing.

Anyway, if I were you, I would not worry about us for now. Think how you are going to handle the other two first.

Most sincerely,

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