The Romario incident

See, I told you Romario coming to Iran was going to create an international incident!

I have greatest respect and admiration for 40+ footballers, honest! Furthermore, I love all people over forty. As a matter of fact my most favorite person in the world is over forty (I say this as I stare into the mirror).

Disrespect Romario? Are you kidding?! The man used to be to Brazil football what Zeus was to mount Olympus! Not that I am a pagan, but I have great respect for all the Gods of football.

Disrespecting footballers with walkers?! No way! I, myself, use a motorized one to help me play these days! Recently I upgraded it to a hybrid to make it more environmentally friendly.

Let me tell you, it is not easy playing with a walker. The other day I did a wheelie during a game, and was red carded for showing the bottom of my tires!

A couple of years ago, I took it in for an oil change, and unbeknown to me the mechanic put some high octane fuel in it. I almost got banned for using performance enhancing substances!

But it didn’t stop there! I use Firestone tires, but my team has an endorsement contract with Michelin! We are going to court over that.

You see? I am afraid I was completely misunderstood. As a matter of fact, if I had the money I would have formed an Iranian Pro League club only signing over forty players, and would sign Romario to be the captain.

Romario, please forgive me and come to play for Perspolis.