My Top 10 advice for Iran coach Ali Daei

For those of you who visited us here during the 2006 World Cup may recall all the fun we had at the expense of then Team Melli striker Ali Daei.

Well just to show you how things may change in between two World Cups, I am announcing my unconditional and unwavering support for Ali Daei who is now the Head Coach of Team Melli.

To prove that I am earnest in my support for him I will give him my Top 10 advice on how to gain an advantage over Saudi Arabia (KSA), the #1 team in our qualifying group.

Now since we are smack in the middle of the final stretch of the presidential election season here in the United States, I am going to pick and choose 10 of the best practices by presidential nominees during their campaigns! Look, if these things are going to help someone win the presidency of the US, why wouldn’t they help Daei defeat Al Johar the KSA coach?! So here we go:

1. Daei should challenge Al Johar to a number of town hall meetings prior to their March 28, 2009 match in Tehran.
2. Daei should criticize Al Johar for not wearing a KSA flag pin during his news conferences!
3. Daei should tell the fans that Al Johar is too old to be the KSA coach!
4. Daei should seek out my high school English teacher (She was cute and wore glasses!) in a small northwestern town in Iran, hire her as his assistant, and then unleash her on Al Johar!
5. Daei should suggest that Al Johar is an elitist!
6. Daei should have my English teacher tell the public tales of her magnificent adventures riding a camel and shooting game in the Iranian wilderness!
7. Daei should find and publicize a photo of Al Johar hugging Sepp Blatter!
8. Daei should hire Karl Rove as his World Cup Qualifying Campaign Manager!
9. Daei should start referring to KSA defender Sulimani by his first name HUSSEIN!!
10. Daei should start asking the question “Who is the real Nasser Al Johar?!”