The gRoundball Day

February 23rd, 2008 | by: Afshin Afshar |

This morning IRIFF chief Ali Kaffashian had a powwow with all 15 Football Federation officials and they came out announcing that they have yet another list of requirements for the soon to be hired coach who will be picked off a secret short list of two or more candidates.

It feels like we, the Iranian football fans, are stuck in the Groundhog’s Day! But I assure you that compared to what we go through, Bill Murray’s situation was a vacation in Hawaii!

Every morning we wake up to the same tune sung by Iranian Football Federation’s Ali Kaffashian and his boss the National Physical Education Organization chief Mohammad Aliabadi. The song is titled “I’ve got you Boss” and goes something like this:

(My sincere apologies to Sonny and Cher for butchering their song!)

[Mohammad Aliabadi:] They say we’re punks and we don’t know We won’t find a coach until we go
[Ali Kaffashian:] Well I don’t know if all that’s true ‘Cause you got me, and boss I got you

[Ali Kaffashian:] Boss
[BOTH:] I got you Boss I got you Boss

[Mohammad Aliabadi:] They say our coach won’t get a cent; Before he’s paid, the money’s all been spent
[Ali Kaffashian:] I guess that’s so, he don’t have a shot; But at least I’ll be sure of all he thinks he’s got

[Ali Kaffashian:] Boss
[BOTH:] I got you Boss I got you Boss

[Ali Kaffashian:] I got papers in the morning I got them to print my things
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] And when they’re mad, you’ll wear the frown; And if they get scared, Ahmadi’s always around
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] So let them say you take too long; ‘Cause I don’t care, with you I can’t go wrong
[Ali Kaffashian:] Then put them fickle fans in line; There ain’t no tellin’ which one of us they might malign

[Ali Kaffashian:] Boss
[BOTH:] I got you Boss I got you Boss

[Ali Kaffashian:] I’ve got a coach I must find
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] I’ll get a coach to kick his hind
[Ali Kaffashian:] I’ll get a coach who’ll walk with me
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] I’ll get a coach who’ll talk with me
[Ali Kaffashian:] I’ll get a coach who won’t fly
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] I’ll get the fans’ hopes all high
[Ali Kaffashian:] I’ll get a coach I won’t let go
[Mohammad Aliabadi:] I’ll get the fans to love me so

[BOTH:] I got you Boss
I got you Al
I got you Boss
I got you Al
I got you Boss